There were posts?

I need to take a breather. Or something more than that to help me in the state i'm in right now.

I CAN'T BELIEVE I'VE BEEN SO FUCKING SELF CONCIOUS AND BLINDED ALL THIS WHILE.

& now it's too late. I want to get hit down by a car so badly now, or getting shot, or just dying in any form. Just so i won't feel all this foolishness in me. I swear, how could i have been doubting my thoughts since the start when everything was.right.there.

Yes, i tend to be in a daze sometimes and sometimes, a real nutcase. But this is so irrelavant. I knew what was there, i could have just taken the extra initiative, but i didn't. Why didn't i? I need more fags than you can imagine. bye.

signing off,

samanthakoay.